Kiru Banzai (tcherub) wrote,
Kiru Banzai
tcherub

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come what may do you ever long for true love from me?

Talk about the pain we feel when we do bad. What about the pain that's just there regardless of what we do? SO LONELY. of course most people think it's normal to live with a nameless sorrow at the bottom of their soul. There's an awful lot of romantic songs in this movie for all it's about prepubescent boys. and darlin' darlin' stand by me...

Have I mentioned that god is stalking me?

So where should I start? Adam and Eve were happy newlyweds, wrapped up completely in each other. And before they knew what was happening, Eve was pregnant. They smiled at each other and promised that nothing would change. Eve would wake up at night and feel the baby kicking and bite down on her fist to keep from screaming. Adam touched her like a china plate after he found out, and later on not at all.
Eve was eighteen hours in labor. The nurse put the baby in her hands afterwards, and through the haze of drugs she felt the alarm bells going off in her head. Of course she would stay at home with the baby. Certainly she would do what any good and loving mother would, and forgo the evenings out, the dinner parties, the things she used to love, and be a full-time mother. Cain was unable to sleep through the night, and the job of quieting him would fall to Eve, because Adam had been hard at work all day, and Eve had only been at home. Cain refused to be quieted. He had a clear, piercing shriek unlike anything Eve had ever heard. After he had subsided, for no discernable cause than that he had tired himself out, Eve would go back to bed and get two or three hours of sleep. Then Adam would shake her awake and ask her to please deal with the baby, he had to work tomorrow.
Cain got older. When he learned to talk, his favorite word was "Mine!" Whenever his mother lay a hand on some object in the house, Cain would scream "MINE! MINE!" until she put it down. He coveted his toys when his parents touched them, but threw them out of his crib once they were gone.
When Cain turned four, Eve was again pregnant. Abel was almost a month premature, but healthy, soft and pink with unfocused blue eyes. Cain had stayed at an aunt's during the delivery, and after they returned home his father took him in to meet the new baby. When Cain saw Abel his eyes got big and he got very quiet. He asked if he could hold his new brother. Adam gave Abel to him with some trepidation, at the ready in case Cain should drop him or do something unpredictable. Cain looked at Abel in quiet wonder for a long time before his parents decided that Abel needed rest and shooed him out of the room.
Abel was an extraordinarily good baby. Even when he got the colic Eve was thankful he had not been as bad as Cain. She never thought of it in terms of loving one son more or less, all she knew was that Cain was now a good, quiet toddler who wanted to help her with the baby, that her life before had been something akin to hell and that now it was much, much easier.
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